Aethelmearc · Ansteorra · Artemisia · Arts and Sciences · Atenveldt · Atlantia · Avacal · Caid · Calontir · Cynagua · Drachenwald · Ealdormere · East · Gleann Abhann · Insulae Draconis · Knowne World · Lochac · Meridies · Midrealm · Mists · Nordmark · Northshield · Outlands · Tir Mara · Tir Righ · Trimaris · West

Known World Wordsmiths join WGA strike

KNOWNE WORLD – Across all of the kingdoms of the Knowne World, wordsmiths of the Society for Creative Anachronism are launching a sympathy strike with the Writers Guild of America (WGA). These “wordsmiths” of the Knowne World are those who provide texts for award scrolls and related documents, as well as ceremony heralds and royal schtick writers. Renowned wordsmith and poet, Magistra Virginia Lupa released a statement.

“So much of what we do in the Knowne World has been influenced by members of the WGA, whose work has informed and, if you will pardon a little scribal joke, illuminated our own work. While members of the WGA are striking over issues which affect their very livelihood, SCA wordsmiths and scribes can also suffer from difficult working conditions, and although our “pay” comes in social capital and wordfame, sometimes we don’t even get that.  Supporting our sibling writers in the WGA seems only fair, after all they’ve given us.”

The strike has affected all the kingdoms, though some have been harder hit than others.  Kingdoms which have standard texts for some awards have suffered less than those where all scrolls are unique. Some of those kingdoms have begun to look through older scroll texts to find those which can be depersonalised and recycled. Peerage scrolls are universally unique, causing some kingdoms to delay elevations while the strike is ongoing.

Some kingdoms have even resorted to scabs, with predictably poor results. Maestra Monica do Cabo Verde, elevated shortly after the strike began, was a victim. “The illumination is gorgeous, the calligraphy is fantastic, but the text.”  Maestra Monica burst into tears before giving The SCAllion a transcription of the text, which is reproduced below in its entirety.

A woman stood out from the rest
Her service was truly the best
A Pelican she
Really ought to be
Signed , the King and the Queen of the West

The SCAllion supports the WGA and the Knowne World wordsmiths in their fight for fair treatment.

Ealdormere · East · Tir Mara · Tir Righ

Canadian SCAdians allowed to pay for international memberships with maple syrup

SHIRE OF AR N-EILEAN-NE, TIR MARA, EAST KINGDOM –  Due to rising inflation and costs of goods, the Board of Directors has issued a variance for Canadian members of the Society for Creative Anachronism.  These members were named informally at the last Board meeting as “SCAnadians,” much to the furor of those present in the call.

The official statement, published February 2nd, reads: “We recognise that money is tight for our northern members, and that the exchange rate between CAD and USD fluctuates significantly, and we therefore decided to search out a way to enable Canadians to maintain their memberships while relying on something more stable.”

Canadian members may now pay for international membership using one of the following methods:

  • A 1-litre jug of maple syrup
  • 4 XL Tim Hortons double-doubles and a 40-pack of TimBits
  • 10 Coffee Crisps
  • 3 BeaverTails
  • 5 2-litre bottles of Coca-Cola (must be purchased in Canada)

This decision has met with generally positive responses, as the change means membership costs for Canadians will be decreased overall, but as the Ealdormere Kingdom Seneschal pointed out, the difference will be made up by Canada Post shipping charges to send the chosen items to Milpitas San Diego.

One Board of Directors member, who omitted to specify that their remarks were off the record, made a comment within earshot of The SCAllion to the effect of, “We’re going to be swimming in syrup, and who’s going to drink all that coffee? This was a mistake.”

Aethelmearc · Armored Combat · Crown Tournament · East · Tir Mara

BREAKING NEWS: Divorce leads to new SCA kingdom

ROYAL PROVINCE OF OSTGARDR, EAST KINGDOM – The East Kingdom has been split up, thanks to the divorce of a power couple from House Wombat and a modern judge who has had enough of their divorce proceedings.

Court documents obtained by the SCAllion show that Judge Roderick Vale ended their ruling with the statement, “I don’t know what this group is, and I don’t care. You are directed to split the group up between you in whatever way the group agrees to. I have enough contacts in non-profit law to force a division of this kingdom-thing, so make it happen. Now get out of my courtroom.”

Dame Rowan Langholm was happy to consent to an interview. “F that household. F the Southern Region. F that dirtbag. Actually, don’t. I want his d*** to fall off! What? Right. I’m so happy to be back in my home Barony of Carolingia! I’m also pleased that the SocSen was so expedient in dividing the kingdom per the court’s order. I’ll be queen by right of arms within a year. YOU HEAR THAT, YOU PIECE OF S***?! YEAH, F YOU!”

“It sort of reminds me of the bad blood between Æthelmearc and the East when Æthelmearc went kingdom. I think I am getting flashbacks,” says Thrune Oakhammer of Æthelmearc, “Oh no, wait, that’s my blood pressure medication.”

Johnnes Schwartzwald, a squire to Sir Michel Fernandez, both from Panther Vale, was ecstatic. “My knight might actually be able to make the final 16 in Crown! This is amazing!”

Members of House Wombat refused to comment directly, but we heard one comment as he walked away, “I’m just glad we don’t need to leave the Southern Region anymore.”

Miryam bat Avraham, seneschal of Tir Mara, didn’t find out about the change until sending quarterly reports: “What? Someone could have bloody well told us this was going on!”

An event is being planned to determine which half will retain the name and heraldry of the East.

East · Tir Mara · Trimaris

Zombie outbreak traced back to Birka

BARONY OF STONEMARCHE, EAST KINGDOM –  The largest shopping event outside of Pennsic, A Market Day at Birka, brought with it an extra surprise this last weekend: a massive outbreak of ZOMBI-19 virus.

As the masses shuffled out of the four hour long court groaning for “brains”, The SCAllion was able to catch up with some uninfected fleeing for their lives.

“See? This is why I wore a mask!” said Lady Orfraisia de la Chasteigneraye from the nearby Shire of Panther Vale, pointing to the KN95 beak over her face, “We were begging for months that they would allow a variance, knowing that the virus was going around, and Birka, always being a center for plague, well, you do the math.”

The Kingdom Seneschal was unavailable for comment, and last seen in the room where the Hafla was scheduled to take place, having his intestines removed by hungry members of the populace.

Onlookers from other kingdoms couldn’t help but stand in shock, “I thought the East was more about protecting their people than this,” said Mistress Ramona from Trimaris, “The governor of the state of Florida threatened to sue us into non-existence if we had any mask mandate so I honestly thought it would be safer for me to travel, you know, to the ‘blue kingdoms’, but it appears New Hampshire has really taken the ‘Live Free or Die’ motto to the grave.” 

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