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Known World Wordsmiths join WGA strike

KNOWNE WORLD – Across all of the kingdoms of the Knowne World, wordsmiths of the Society for Creative Anachronism are launching a sympathy strike with the Writers Guild of America (WGA). These “wordsmiths” of the Knowne World are those who provide texts for award scrolls and related documents, as well as ceremony heralds and royal schtick writers. Renowned wordsmith and poet, Magistra Virginia Lupa released a statement.

“So much of what we do in the Knowne World has been influenced by members of the WGA, whose work has informed and, if you will pardon a little scribal joke, illuminated our own work. While members of the WGA are striking over issues which affect their very livelihood, SCA wordsmiths and scribes can also suffer from difficult working conditions, and although our “pay” comes in social capital and wordfame, sometimes we don’t even get that.  Supporting our sibling writers in the WGA seems only fair, after all they’ve given us.”

The strike has affected all the kingdoms, though some have been harder hit than others.  Kingdoms which have standard texts for some awards have suffered less than those where all scrolls are unique. Some of those kingdoms have begun to look through older scroll texts to find those which can be depersonalised and recycled. Peerage scrolls are universally unique, causing some kingdoms to delay elevations while the strike is ongoing.

Some kingdoms have even resorted to scabs, with predictably poor results. Maestra Monica do Cabo Verde, elevated shortly after the strike began, was a victim. “The illumination is gorgeous, the calligraphy is fantastic, but the text.”  Maestra Monica burst into tears before giving The SCAllion a transcription of the text, which is reproduced below in its entirety.

A woman stood out from the rest
Her service was truly the best
A Pelican she
Really ought to be
Signed , the King and the Queen of the West

The SCAllion supports the WGA and the Knowne World wordsmiths in their fight for fair treatment.

Ealdormere · East · Tir Mara · Tir Righ

Canadian SCAdians allowed to pay for international memberships with maple syrup

SHIRE OF AR N-EILEAN-NE, TIR MARA, EAST KINGDOM –  Due to rising inflation and costs of goods, the Board of Directors has issued a variance for Canadian members of the Society for Creative Anachronism.  These members were named informally at the last Board meeting as “SCAnadians,” much to the furor of those present in the call.

The official statement, published February 2nd, reads: “We recognise that money is tight for our northern members, and that the exchange rate between CAD and USD fluctuates significantly, and we therefore decided to search out a way to enable Canadians to maintain their memberships while relying on something more stable.”

Canadian members may now pay for international membership using one of the following methods:

  • A 1-litre jug of maple syrup
  • 4 XL Tim Hortons double-doubles and a 40-pack of TimBits
  • 10 Coffee Crisps
  • 3 BeaverTails
  • 5 2-litre bottles of Coca-Cola (must be purchased in Canada)

This decision has met with generally positive responses, as the change means membership costs for Canadians will be decreased overall, but as the Ealdormere Kingdom Seneschal pointed out, the difference will be made up by Canada Post shipping charges to send the chosen items to Milpitas San Diego.

One Board of Directors member, who omitted to specify that their remarks were off the record, made a comment within earshot of The SCAllion to the effect of, “We’re going to be swimming in syrup, and who’s going to drink all that coffee? This was a mistake.”

An Tir · Arts and Sciences · Tir Righ

A&S entry insists the earth is flat

SHIRE OF APPLEDORE, PRINCIPALITY OF TIR RIGH, AN TIR: In a surprising development at Kingdom Arts and Sciences, Lord Marcus de Sergent and Lady Beatrice atte Stele presented a controversial entry claiming that they could prove that the world was flat, and that medieval writings describing the Earth as spherical are actually modern-day forgeries, designed to further the Spherical Earth Conspiracy.

Lord Marcus and Lady Beatrice pointed to works by the Mesopotamians, the ancient Greeks, the early Norse, and ancient China as evidence, as well as select quotations from Catholic authors such as St. Augustine. When The SCAllion asked Lord Marcus to elaborate on his theory, he happily stated, “Look, the earliest writings of mankind talk about a flat Earth. The concept of a spherical Earth occurs some time around the 6th century BCE, why was no mention of a spherical Earth ever made before? It’s not like the Earth suddenly became round. It’s pretty clear that Big Spherical Earth thought that planting forgeries dating to then would be sufficient to convince people. Wake up to the big lie!” The SCAllion asked Lord Marcus and Lady Beatrice to explain how eclipses happened, upon which Lord Marcus showed us an elaborate flat Earth model that could allegedly explain eclipses. “See, it’s simple. Don’t be fooled by Big Spherical Earth! I mean, look at this modern model of the universe and then look at the Mappa Mundi in Hereford. Look at how similar they are. Just because they lived in the Middle Ages doesn’t mean that they were stupid. They were smart people! Understood astronomy, complex engineering, effective and efficient political systems… why shouldn’t we take their maps at face value?”

When asked for comment, Master Mishal ibn Qays al-Majnuni, the Kingdom Minister of Arts & Sciences and a high school physics and astronomy teacher, simply held his head in his hand and moaned. He then poured a liberal helping of whiskey into his mug and downed it. “I deal with this BS every day in school, and now you jokers want to bring it here? I’m disqualifying this entry.”

Lord Marcus claimed that this was further proof of Big Spherical Earth’s stranglehold on the world. “Wake up sheeple! Wake up!”

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Society Social Media Officer Tells Satire Website They Aren’t Funny

…Website replies with, “We know.”

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